Strike two

The docs did something really weird tonight. I thought they would be angry (or at least disappointed) that I didn't get that post up like I said I would, but they suddenly don't seem to care. Last week all they wanted me to talk about was my mother and my childhood, trying to find some sort of Freudian source of my anger, I guess, and when the session ended, they said I should put up a post talking more about my childhood so they can build off of it for this week.

But they seemed really interested in the rat problem we've been having. REALLY interested. Seriously, the only reason I put that here is because I got sucked in to the fucking blogging, not because it was related to my problems at all. And you assholes seem to think it's related somehow.

I'm not schizophrenic. I'm not hearing voices telling me what to do, I'm not hallucinating, I'm hearing goddamn rats! Maybe if the rats were telling me to kill Chelsea because she's cheating on me, I'd be worried, but it's just random scratching and squeaking. Why in the world would I be hallucinating THAT?!

I'm going to remind you that I'm the one paying you, I'm the one expecting results, and if you resort to stupid bullshit like this, I WILL stop paying you. I don't care if my job is on the line, if you think you'll leech a penny off of me through these antics, by prolonging my problems, you will find yourself one client short.

This is your final warning. I'll work on that post about my mother, but don't expect me to do stupid shit unless there is a GOOD reason for it.

Well, that was a waste of time and money

The exterminator came yesterday, but couldn't find any evidence of an infestation. No holes, no droppings, nothing at all to suggest that rats have taken residence or even ever lived here. Of course, the house was devoid of the scratching and squeaks while he worked, but after he left, sometime late in the evening, it started up again.

I talked to Chelsea about it earlier, and she said she didn't notice any noises during the day. It seems it only happened late at night, after she falls asleep. It didn't really surprise me that the sounds woke me, but not her, since I'm a fairly light sleeper, and she's slept through tornado sirens before. So I woke her. And she said she didn't hear anything. She may be a deep sleeper, but she's not deaf... I don't really know what's going on, but I'll think of something later.

I discovered that, while extremely uncomfortable, wearing earplugs helps with sleeping. So for the first night in a while, I've gotten some relatively good sleep. I'm still a little off, but I'll do some thinking and try to get that post in for the docs later tonight.

Small Update

Just a quick post so the docs won't try and bug me today. I wanted the exterminator over yesterday, but Chelsea was a bit leery of having someone over on Friday the 13th... It seems like a stupid superstition, but I guess it's not a big enough deal to bother with. The exterminator will be over later this afternoon, and I'll try to get a post up tomorrow if I can get a good night's sleep tonight.

Tired

Yeah, I know it's a very bad idea to be doing this while at work, but I need to do SOMETHING.

The docs drilled me yesterday. Question after question after question after unending question. They wanted to know about my childhood, my days in school, my love life, my parents, my brothers. They wanted to know everything that's set me off recently, and it seemed like they wanted to know everything that's ever pissed me off in the least bit.

So, naturally, they wanted me to blog about anything I didn't think about in the session yesterday.

Trouble is, I think I exhausted myself. Or rather, I'm simply exhausted in general. Between the New Year's fight, my coworkers' newfound fear, the everyday annoyances I get in these damned callers, and a recent lack of restful sleep, I seem to have just tired myself out. It's gotten to the point where I'd rather let the stupid shit go over my head than even attempt to get worked up about it.

So there's something for you, docs. A tired man is not an angry man. Or at least not an outwardly angry man. Problem is, I hate being in this state so fucking much. I don't have the energy to lift a finger, I feel constantly sick, and all I really want is to get some sleep.

Oh yeah, that's a development I don't think I've ever gotten to you internet people. I think our house has rats, or something. Every night, there are these noises keeping me from sleeping peacefully. Sometimes it's scratching, sometimes it's squeaking, but it happens off and on. All. Night. Long. At first, it just annoyed me because it woke me, but last night I couldn't get any sleep whatsoever. I'm going to call an exterminator this afternoon and see about getting this house bug bombed, or something.

But yeah, I'm sorry docs, but I just can't get your post up. Maybe once the rats are gone and I've been able to get some rest, then I'll think about anything I missed.

Oh yeah, before I forget. Mr. Revelation. That was a dick move, posting that comment.

This sucks

Okay, so I was right when I thought this week would be bad,

First of all, those three guys I decked on New Year's were not people I knew or worked with, so I guess that's a plus. However, the story did end up spreading around, and people mostly avoided me in fear of getting attacked themselves. The friends who were with me during the event didn't really want to speak with me, and the one who invited me didn't talk much, either. Assholes...

My boss gave me a talking to, and called the docs up to join him. They assured him that they were doing their best, and that I was making strides in my therapy, and then boss basically said that my job hinges on their therapy.

The docs themselves seemed to be a bit more open than the others. They assured me that the episode wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. I had a bit too much to drink, and went a little crazy. They said that was normal. But then they said that if I want to make sure the therapy works, I'll have to lay off the booze for a while. Fucking great, I can't drink for who knows how long, my coworkers think I'm a monster about to go on a rampage at any moment, and my boss is threatening to fire me.

Yeah, this isn't really boding well for me at all...

Well fuck.

I woke up with the worst hangover in recent history, and of course I remember nothing from the previous night. I look around and find that post from last night. I'm logged in and the Notes page is the first thing I see. Apparently I wrote that, posted it, and passed out. Hopefully.

I asked Chelsea what happened, and she said my friends dragged me home after I got into a big fight at wherever the hell we were. When I came home I sat down and started babbling for an hour or so before walking into the bedroom and not coming out until this morning. She checked in on me every once in a while until I was out cold, and decided she wouldn't risk waking me up and fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

She said I didn't say much while babbling. It was mostly the overly happy bullshit I usually say while drunk.

I showed her my drunken post and she said that that's pretty much what happened. She did say that my friends supposedly tried to stop the fight, but that I was too drunk to notice. I have no idea who the guys were that I fought, nor can I remember the fight itself, but I'm sure this will come back to bite me in the ass somehow.

I go back to work tomorrow, and I go to the docs on Tuesday. I have a sinking feeling that this week won't be nearly as good as last week was.

Oh man, I love these people. So. Much.

My friends are great people. They are just amazing. They really know how to party.

So they said I could hang with them for New Years. We went to some places and had a few beers. Had some great fun.

These guys came up to us and tried to get us to leave. Said some shit about us. But there were only three of them, so they were easy. My friends were standing there cheeering me on the entire time.

Anyway, I took those assholes out, and my friends helped me get back home. They really are great fun people.

And Chelsea is great, too. She was there for me when I came home. She is always there for me. She is such a great person.

So I think I might be ramblig a bit, but I gotta say how AMAZING these people are. They are great, fun, amazing people and I wouldn’t trade them in for anyhting. And I wanna wish everybody out there a happy new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!